Nursing Home Wedding
A minister was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An
anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the
old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man
replied, "I guess." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for
sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the
pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher
asked. "She can drive at night," the old man said.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Funny Irish Joke
How can you possibly not love the Irish?
"Personal ads" in the DublinNews
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
"Personal ads" in the DublinNews
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Funny Irish Joke
How can you possibly not love the Irish?
"Personal ads" in theDublinNews
Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed
and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail
purposes, maybe more.
"Personal ads" in theDublinNews
Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed
and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail
purposes, maybe more.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Irish Joke
On twitter,
The priest was waiting on Saturday afternoon for his usual parade of people coming to confession. In comes a man so drunk, he is stumbling down the aisle, bouncing from pew to pew. Finally he finds the confessional, goes in, and shuts the door.
The priest goes in his side and waits. Nothing happens. He clears his throat so the fellow might know he is there and ready. No reaction. Finally, he starts losing his patience and bangs sharply on the wall three times.
The drunk fellow in the confessional says, "It's no use knockin'...There's no paper in here either!"
bmaloney212 noted RT @wbaustin: Drunk in Church http://tinyurl.com/bp3prf [Why is this an Irish joke?]
Maybe not really an Irish joke. More of a drunk joke or drinking joke. After all, there is a famous funny quote:
Maybe not really an Irish joke. More of a drunk joke or drinking joke. After all, there is a famous funny quote:
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.
- Irish Saying
The priest was waiting on Saturday afternoon for his usual parade of people coming to confession. In comes a man so drunk, he is stumbling down the aisle, bouncing from pew to pew. Finally he finds the confessional, goes in, and shuts the door.
The priest goes in his side and waits. Nothing happens. He clears his throat so the fellow might know he is there and ready. No reaction. Finally, he starts losing his patience and bangs sharply on the wall three times.
The drunk fellow in the confessional says, "It's no use knockin'...There's no paper in here either!"
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Irish Joke
Murphy approached Mulligan's bar. On the step outside he was accosted by a nun, Sister Marie, who said:
'Surely a fine man like yourself is not going into this den of iniquity? Surely you're not going to waste your hard-earned cash on the devil's brew. Why don't you go home and feed and clothe your wife and children?'
'Hang on, Sisters,' spluttered Murphy. 'How can you condemn alcohol out of hand? Surely it's wrong to form such a rash judgement when you've never tasted the stuff?'
'Very well,' said Sister Marie. Till taste it just to prove my point. Obviously I can't go into the pub, so why don't you bring me some gin. Oh, and just to camouflage my intent, maybe you should bring it in a cup not a glass!'
'OK,' said Murphy and into the bar he breezed.
'I'll have a large gin,' he said to the barman. 'And can you put it in a cup?'
'My God,' said the barman, 'that nun's not outside again is she?'
'Surely a fine man like yourself is not going into this den of iniquity? Surely you're not going to waste your hard-earned cash on the devil's brew. Why don't you go home and feed and clothe your wife and children?'
'Hang on, Sisters,' spluttered Murphy. 'How can you condemn alcohol out of hand? Surely it's wrong to form such a rash judgement when you've never tasted the stuff?'
'Very well,' said Sister Marie. Till taste it just to prove my point. Obviously I can't go into the pub, so why don't you bring me some gin. Oh, and just to camouflage my intent, maybe you should bring it in a cup not a glass!'
'OK,' said Murphy and into the bar he breezed.
'I'll have a large gin,' he said to the barman. 'And can you put it in a cup?'
'My God,' said the barman, 'that nun's not outside again is she?'
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